July Week 2 Review: Perseverance Despite An Depression & Burnout

A short post.

I was planning to write something about "Establishing Inner Game Ritual" but ronically, my inner game took a bad hit from a dumb mistake I've done while texting a very good lead from last week.

Normally, mistakes in the game don't bother me, but this mistake is a one I've done once in 2017, also a good lead, and been repeating over the years, killing my chances with women.

What is it?

Trying to tease them over text.

Why do I do it?

Because I was afraid if I respond with something boring or less exciting, the girl will lose interest.

Clearly the fear of coming off as boring is what's demolishing my progress in the game. 

It's forcing you to be too gamey, which not only doesn't work at all with girls you've never dated, but kills your chances with decent leads that are picturing dating your or even becoming your GF.

What did I say to the girl that turned her off instantly?

We were talking about the reason she was in the mall where I approached  She said she was looking for a paricular LV shoe.

*sends me a pic of the shoe*

"I noticed you like big ass shoes 😂"

Game over.

Passing the stage of texting is, by far, my biggest challenge in the game, and the reason I couldn't get more than 4 dates this year so far.

Stats:

 30 approaches

 3 (one blocked after seeing her in the train an hour later)

 1 lead

 0 dates

 

July Week 1 Review: A New Chapter

Writing this post at 7% battery life, at a coffee shop. So, I will be as concise as I can.

July started slowly. No approaches on Monday, and only 1 in Tuesday. 

That left me with 29 sets to do to meet my min 30 sets a week quota. 

But then, I had to hit the road on Friday for 3 day trip to Perak, a place that's been on my bucket list for so long. So I was forced to do 29 sets in 2 days... and I did just that. It was stressful... I hated it... it was rushed... but I'm glad I did it. The result was not bad.

I got 1 IG, and 2 numbers. All of them responded.

The IG lead, a slightly curvy thai girl, was the best set. I've been to thailand countless times so it was easy talking to her. Shows the more you have in common with a girl, the better are your chances with her.

We chatted a bit on IG, but sadly, she is taken so I let go of her. 

The other memorable set is a Sarawakan chiropractor. Our interaction was a bit awkward, and I wasn't on my best form that day. But managed to close her. She accidentally video called me after I sent my first text. We are still texting. She is not investing much, but became a bit warmed up after I shared photos of my holiday with her  (including a cocktail I was having) last night. We were texting past midnight, something I never done with any lead before. She was probably in her bed, wearing her lingerie while playing with her phone after a long day at work.

3%... time to charge my old Samsung

Stats:

30 approaches

3 numbers (including IG)

3 replies

1 active lead

    A 200 years old abandoned house in a small villiage at Perak, fully claimed by mother nature

June Week 4 Review: Never Ask A Girl What She Does

A decent week so far with few firsts. I got my first number from a supermarket approach that happened naturally, the first reply from an IG lead, and, probably, the first time that I did > 30 sets a week for 2 week streak. 

Nonetheless, I still couldn't get a date this week, I was supposed to have a date on Friday with the Thai girl from last week (who messaged me mid week to meet up) but it didn't happen due to bad logistics. 

Game-wise, I can see some development in my gaming style that is creating better reactions from girls. I'm focusing less on what to say (stacking, teasing, etc) and more on the energy that I deliver during the first few seconds of a set. Nonetheless, I see few issues that popped up this week and some lingering issues that I still need to fix once and for all.

The good:

• Increased in spontaneity. I see a hot girl outside a session (and she is by herself), I don't hesitate to approach
• I stopped relying on my standard "job" stacking, and instead stack on other things that are more personal and unique to her, e.g. her nationality, outfit, etc. Though, sometimes forget and regress.
• I put more energy and focus in how I stop the girl. I stopped using "excuse me" and replaced it with a strong audible "Hey" accompanied by a hand wave (in case she is wearing a earphones). I can't say if it's more effective than the older approach, but it certainly makes me feel better (and more masculine) than when I say excuse me.
• My texting style has improved a bit and starting to mature. In the past, I was quite uncertain on what to say or how to respond to certain text. Now, starting to get a glimpse on what works and what doesn't
• Starting to get really good in observing girls and preparing stack topic

The bad:

• Even though I stack less on job, I occasionally slip back to my old habit and ask a girl what she does or guess it. 
• After listening to some of my recorded sets, noticed that my conversation overlaps with the girl's. Can't believe this is still happening. I thought I fixed it issue. Need to pay more attention to this as it's very problematic
• Also after listening to my recording, noticed that I say "yeah" after I finish my sentence. Another thing to fix
• I'm occasionally making the silly mistake of trying to game a girl over text. I did so on a girl who wasn't investing much, and needless to say, she is gone. But in a way, can't blame myself as I'm yet to figure out how to deal with girls that give very short responses that are hard to work with, or girls that don't invest at all or ask questions.
• While not critical in building attraction, my conversation skills still need polishing. Something to work on both in field and out of it
• I need to spend some time preparing stories & stacking material about many things: countries, places, food, pop culture, etc so I can related better with girls

Memorable sets:

Ukrainian expat 

Saw her buy a Macha in the venue, and approached her outside the mall. She was wearing tight green pant and had a great figure which couldn't escape my radar. But when opened her, realized she looked a bit older up close. Possibly mid-thirties. 

I teased her on how her drink and her outfit of the same color. She didn't seem very keen at first, and I made the mistake of lying of being a traveler (projecting myself as r-selected). 

Convo-wise, I couldn't stack on Ukraine, cus I don't know much about the country. I need to do my homework on this. After I closed her, she started asking me K-selected questions: how long you gonna be here? Do you like it here? etc.

Salesforce girl

I was quite hesitant to approach this one as, for a second, thought she was a ladyboy as she had noticeably broad shoulders. But she was damn hot, so I took my chances and opened her inside the mall. She hooked quite nicely and was very friendly. Told her she look like she just came from a nice party. She said she was hanging out with friends. 

Though I liked her vibe, I felt something was off. There was a masculine undertone in how she communicated. And that become quickly apparent as the conversation suddenly become about our work. But, in a way, I don't blame her as I should've avoided talking about jobs (at all cost) and make the convo fully or mostly about her, her outfit, where she is from, etc

Kazakh girl

My favorite set of the week, and 2nd set that felt like "man to women". Prior to approaching her, I got few girls that didn't stop when I approach them with "excuse me", I got frustrated and decided go approach more assertively with a strong "Hey!" I did so with the this girl and at first she looked a bit startled, but I as I shifted my energy to a warm opener. 

She responded well. Asked her where she is from and she smiled and told me to guess. My eyes were locked on hers, but through my peripheral vision, I could see so much activity going on down below. She was crossing and uncrossing her legs, tilting her hips left and right.

I kinda of blanked out mid-set, but managed to close. Asked for her Whatsapp, but she said she smiled (looked a way) and said she doesn't use it. (probably lying). Then I settled for IG.

Texted her the following day and she was quite responsive. We decided to meet after she return from a short trip. She will be in KL for another week so I'm in a race against time with this one.

Siberian girl

A very interesting set. I saw her walk into Parkson department store, where I approached her. She was quite calm and comfortable with how close I was to her. We had brief chat on our countries, but somewhere in set, she started losing interest.

Then I dropped the dookie. I haven't listened to the recording yet, but if I recall, here is what happened next.

I asked her "what do you do?" She looked at me with narrow eyes "Why? Why do you asking me that?" I was quite shocked at how blunt she was. But then, I remembered some story that Mark Manson mentioned in one of his books in which a Russian girl he was dating said (in response to something he said) that it was "stupid" and he almost spat his drink.

I didn't know how to react, so I just told her, it's not out of the ordinary that people in Malaysia ask strangers what they do. And asserted that it could be inappropriate in Russia, but not necessarily in other parts of the world.

She wanted to leave earlier. So I insisted on closing. "ah... you are so persistent". Eventually she opened her WA and I copied the number.

Stats (24 - 28 June):

30 Approaches

4 numbers

1 IG

3 replies

0 dates

2 active leads

June Week 3 Review: New City, Old Sticking Points

A lot of development took place this June. I've moved from Petaling Jaya (where I've been living for ages) to the heart of KL city.

The relocation has brought along so much opportunities: shorter travel time, a lot of venues to choose from, diverse demographics, abundance of hot chicks, etc.

However, while I was able to triple the number of approaches compare to what I used to deliver back in PJ, my game still remained stagnant.

I've done 72 approaches since the beginning of June, and I couldn't get any of the girls out on a date yet, except one

Venturing into the Desert: Versatile Cold Approach Experiment

My daygame have been quite rigid since I've started in 2020. I've been approaching girls only during sessions and in specific venues or routes. 

But I've come to realize that such way of doing daygame limits my opportunities of meeting infinite number of beautiful women everywhere else, in shops, gas stations, cafes, trains, etc.

So, I've decided to change this and do cold approaching in a spontaneous fashion.

Bukit Bintang weekend stay & field report

I've been doing most of my weekend daygame sessions in KL due to the high volume of quality targets. But the problem I'm facing is that... I start my day quite slowly.

I wake up around 8 am, super sluggish. It takes me 1-2 cups of coffee to come to life, and I find myself watching random stuff on YT and only leave my house 4-5 hours later.

I don't like that. So I decided to leave my house earlier on weekends. I thought it's a good idea if I stay the night closer to where I game, perhaps in a place that is not as comfortable as my house so I'm forced to go out as soon as I freshen up.

#3 - The Talkative Maniac

Being in the right place at the right time can expose you to pleasant (and sometimes weird) experiences.

That's what happened to me one Friday last September. I finished work and battled with myself over whether I should hit the mall, do some sets, or just call it a day and head home.

I decided to go to the mall.

The first girl I approached was a Chinese expat who turned out to be a master's student. After I got her number, I continued strolling in the mall, then I spotted another girl. She was wearing jean shorts and a crop top T-shirt reading "Alice in Wonderland" while holding a brown jacket (probably due to the cold train).

Daygame Lessons from 2023

2023 wasn't quite a productive year in terms of daygaming, but I've learned quite a lot about myself and my daygame skills, and I'm writing about some of what I've discovered or observed.

LESSON 1: Long-term relationships can seriously affect your game progress

The biggest thing I've learned this year is that long-term relationships will easily hamper your progress if you aren't careful. It's one thing to date a girl, enjoy her company, the amazing sex, the good experience, but it's another thing to become emotionally attached to her to the degree that you prioritize her over your schedule (daygame, gym, etc).

Unfortunately, that's what I kinda did during my one-year-long relationship with a girl I met while daygaming. She never stood in my way, but she was so kind, so nice to me that I couldn't help but fall (a little bit) for her, as she did for me. Love.

I nonetheless never stopped daygaming, as our relationship wasn't too serious. However, my game drive and desire to hit the malls waned to the degree that I was going weeks without approaching.

But then, we broke up. A year later. And I was back single.

I was relieved, in a way, as now I had more time to focus on my bachelor pursuits, including daygame.

However, after returning to regular gaming, I saw a significant drop in results, compared to early 2022 (when I was dating 2-3 girls a month). What happened throughout 2023?

LESSON 2: Pay attention to your facial expressions


When I started daygame in 2020, everyone was masked up until the end of 2022. So basically, 90% of my daygame journey took place during a period of religiously practiced covid restrictions.

Surprisingly, self-fist pump, I managed to adapt to such unusual circumstances and game well enough to get results and lays.

But after covid cases dropped, and restrictions lifted, I found myself walking around in malls, mask-free. I was able to breathe better. But I kinda felt (exposed), as if I'm naked. That, nonetheless, didn't stop me from doing sets.

However, I noticed a major decline in the quality of numbers and dates. Numbers were either flaking or ghosting. Dates were... almost nonexistent, except for one with a Christian girl who wasn't interested in sex before marriage but was courteous enough to ask me out for dinner (to return the favor of paying for dinner on the first date).

The struggle continued for over 6 months, many approaches, several numbers, few replies, and only one date. Not really any daygamer's dream.

So the question is, how did it get to that?

My best guess is that the mask(s) I was wearing for almost 2 years were concealing my facial expressions, and that may have created a sense of mystery to my persona, as they can't read me by looking at my face.

That, in conjunction with hard work and improving calibration, had made me attractive enough to some of the girls I ran into.

But once the mask was off, they started seeing flaws that I wasn't aware of. It could be a fake smile, a nervous expression, or maybe a crooked nose 😂.

Though it's mostly likely due to my facial expressions not being incongruent with what I was saying or doing. Even if I was ugly (which I'm not), it wouldn't explain the unreasonable drop in results even with less attractive sets.

One thing I'm sure guilty of, though, is that I smile a lot both out of nervousness and also as a strategy to come off as friendly.

And sadly, it has carried over to my daygame. My strategy to get a girl to like me has become trying to appear as friendly as I can, through a smile and other means.

Smiling is an important element of seduction, but when it's used as a crutch or a tool, it often comes off as uncalibrated, insincere, or an expression of low value.

Something to work on!

LESSON 3: Your vibe is your most important asset

I can't emphasise this one enough. If you are happy, people will sense it. If you are stressed out, people will sense it. If you are exhausted, people will sense it. And no matter how hard you work, if you neglect your mental health, physical well-being, it will not only limit your progress in daygame but every aspect of life.

How to create and maintain a good vibe?

For me, good vibe is synonymous with happiness, it doesn't come from nothing. Just like numbers, dates, and lays, it is a byproduct of leading a life of  BEING TRUE TO YOURSELF and WORKING HARD to maintain that identity. 

How do you stay true to yourself?

1. Never shy away from expressing your desires and wants both to yourself and to people:

• Buy that car that you dreamt of that moment you can afford it
• Ask for that salary increment that you deserved
• When daygaming, before you open your mouth, make sure that your set sees it in your eyes that you wanna fuck her. And keep that intention alive until you finish inside her.

2. Never break a promise you made to yourself or to others

• If you decide to approach 100 girls this month, make sure that you fight tooth and nail to make that happen
• If you promised someone or group of people of something (dinner, event, etc), make it happen at all cost, unless you in a hospital or totally incapacitated 

3. Never do something that will make you feel bad about yourself or self-worth

• As per above, don't break promises you made to yourself as that will make you feel unreliable
• Don't abuse alcohol, drugs or anything that will make you destroy the identity you worked hard to build
• Prioritise your schedule and lifestyle over others as much as you can, or compromise without given away too much of your time

Cheers.

#2 - The Adorable Chinese

I met May in 2022, back when I was doing a nonstop daily game streak. She was average looking Chinese girl with a very good vibe and and a charming smile that radiated through her mask. 

When I approached her in a mall somewhere in PJ, and told her "she look lovely", she blushed and responded with a friendly "Thank you". Like any of my other sets, we chatted about several things, mainly work and travelling. She told me she was studying in Taiwan for 4 years, and return home last month... 

The Daygame Goals That Led Me To Nowhere

I don't know why I didn't get much result in the past year. But one thing I know for sure is that I took the fun out of gaming.

By focusing on the wrong things... numbers, stats, commitments, habits, etc

Thanks to too much indulgence in theory and self-help materials.

#1 - IKEA girl (Part II)

She took off her shoes and socks and started looking around curiously. She saw a weighing scale and stood on it "OMG, I lost weight". 

I had few gym equipment at home including a bench press and two dumbbells. She leaned down and grab one of them. I got a very good view of her round ass and massive hips. I came from behind her and placed my hand on her lower back "give it a try. "Ah!" she